Yesterday afternoon I was cleaning out and organizing an armoire we have in our living room that holds all of our paper, paint, brushes, and other art/writing supplies. (Yes, it requires an entire armoire- what can I say? We homeschool) As I was sorting some papers that had artwork or writing on them into “keep because they’re adorable” or “toss because they’re not memorable” piles, I found one that I put into its own “keep because it’s terrifying” pile.
It’s hard to read, but that right there is a list of internal organs with PRICES NEXT TO THEM! Serial killing organ harvester, at seven? Clearly I had failed in a major way as a parent. I put it aside to ask him about later but then all kinds of other things came up (I mean, I know there was the threat of a murder for profit but the electrician was coming and I had my workout class and there’s a thing called dinner… priorities, people!) and I left it until this morning.
So I casually mention to Fidget that a I found a list of internal organs with PRICES NEXT TO THEM. Though I played it cool and kept the all-caps, I’ve-failed-as-a-mother, are-you-nuts tone out of my voice. Well done, me. He laughed and said, “Oh I saw that in a book and I was trying to add it up!”
This was only slightly reassuring- I mean, at least he didn’t think of it on his own but what kind of book is telling him what his organs will go for on the black market? So he showed me and I instantly felt better. Mostly because I couldn’t be blamed. This was not my fault!
You might be thinking, “But it IS your fault, you bought him a book that includes organ prices.” But here’s the thing- it was a gift! Happy dance!
Sue, you know who you are, and I will now blame you (not really) if he turns into a serial killer. On a happier note, the Man Bites Dog card game that you gave us is a huge hit and we play it almost every day. So newspaper editor or black market organ dealer. The gifts that keep on giving.
Do we think this list goes into the keep pile or the toss pile?